#1 Superb Slovenian Jokes To Improve Your Slovenian

Having a handful of Slovenian jokes in your repertoire is a surefire way to impress the locals when visiting this central European nation. Slovenian humor is often quite self-deprecating, and they enjoy having a bit of fun about the size of their nation.

We will also have a look at some Slovenian idioms. Learning new jokes in any language is a great way to improve your vocabulary as well as help to make language learning like Slovenian a little bit more fun. Let’s check them out!

Silly Slovenian Jokes About Slovenia’s Size

Only half the size of Switzerland, many Slovenian jokes focus on its diminutive size. Let’s have a look at some of them:

  • Be careful when opening an umbrella in Ljubljana because you might poke the eye out of somebody in Maribor.
  • Why don’t Slovenians need mobile phones? Because they can communicate by simply yodeling from one end of the country to the other.
  • You could catch all the fish in the Slovenian sea by using a tennis net.
  • How do Slovenes change gears in a car? First, Second, BORDER!
  • Why are you not permitted to jump into a swimming pool in Slovenia? Because the Italians would get annoyed at being splashed by water.
  • How do the Slovenes control their air space? They put a soldier on top of Triglav Mountain.
  • What do Slovenes need radar for? Just for fun.
  • Why does Slovenia not import many goods from other countries? Because nobody can find the country.
  • What color are Slovenian coastguard patrol boats? Both of them are blue.
  • Why is it forbidden to do the splits in Slovenia? Because your feet would cross the border.
  • Why are ski jumpers forbidden from jumping further than 250 meters? Because if they jumped any further, the ski jumpers would land in Italy!

Amusing Slovenian Jokes And Idioms

As well as Slovenian jokes, Slovenians have their own way of expressing everyday situations through uniquely Slovenian idioms. For example, instead of saying that they have a hangover, they prefer to say “Imam mačka”, or “I have a cat”. When the hangover is particularly severe, a Slovenian will complain, “Imam tigra“, or “I have a tiger“.

Let’s have a look at a few more amusing idioms that are likely to be heard from day to day in Slovenia.

  • If a Slovenian feels pressured into doing something, they might say “Kuzla mu v rit skače”, or they “Have a bitch jumping into their arse”.
  • Slovenians prefer not to say they are giving up, rather they say “Vržemo puško v koruzo”, or “Throw a rifle into the corn”.
  • If you have done something to offend in Slovenia, you might not find one of the locals telling you to ‘Go to Hell!”, they are more likely to tell you to “Naj te koklja brcne!”, or “Let the mother hen kick you!”
  • If a Slovenian has had a stroke of good luck, he doesn’t express that luck as being good fortune, but “Sekira mi je padla v med”, or “My axe fell into the honey”.
  • Instead of a Slovenian “feeling guilty about something, you are more likely to hear that they “Ima veliko masla na glavi”, they “Have a lot of butter on their head”.
  • When a Slovenian finds something amusing, they don’t laugh out loud, they “Smeji se kot pečen maček”, or “Smile like a roasted cat”.
  • Rather than take a long way to the rooms of your home, a Slovenian would prefer to “Je šel okrog riti v žep”, or “Go into the pocket around the ass”.
  • If a Slovenian has had a little too much to drink, before the tiger kicks in he doesn’t throw up, he will “Kličemo jelene”, or “Call the reindeer”.
  • If a Slovenian stubs his toe, you might expect him to shout “Bloody hell!”, but he is actually more likely to bellow “Tristo kosmatih medvedov!”, or “Three hundred hairy bears!”
  • The subject of money, or the lack of it, often comes up in Slovenian humour. In Slovenia, if you have lost all your cash, you aren’t broke, but rather “On je na psu”, or “On the dog”. If you find yourself with an empty bank account, you have “Prišel je na boben”, or “Reached the drum”.
  • If you find yourself without money, it might be because a deal you made has gone sour. Yet a Slovenian would not admit they had made a bad deal, but rather he had “Kupil je mačka v žaklju”, or “Bought a cat in a sack”.
  • In matters of sex, Slovenians have their own distinctly humorous idioms. For instance, making love in the morning isn’t referred to as morning sex but as “Petelinji zajtrk”, or “Rooster’s breakfast.” If a Slovenian has a wondering eye they are unlikely to cheat on another person, but they are likely to “Skačejo čez plot”, or “Jump over the fence”.
  • And if you have done something to annoy a Slovenian, they will not simply tell you to go away, you are more likely to hear “Solit se pojdi”, or “Go get yourself salted”.

And Finally…

Here is a funny, if slightly naughty, joke in our list of Estonian jokes to break the ice when making some new Slovenian friends:

A blonde, a nun, a Croat, and a Slovenian are traveling on the same train. The train enters a tunnel, and the train compartment goes dark. Suddenly, there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, it gets brighter, and everyone notices that the Slovenian’s face has turned bright red.

The nun thinks: “This naughty man must’ve touched the blonde, so he got what he deserved.” The blonde thinks: “This jerk has probably wanted to touch me, but he accidentally touched the nun, so he got what he deserved.” The Slovenian thinks: “This Croat must have touched the blonde, and she slapped me instead of him.” The Croat thinks: “I can’t wait for another tunnel to slap him again.”

Learn Slovenian With The Ling App

If you are interested in learning more about Slovenian and Slovenian jokes, why not download the Ling app? Learning a language with an application on your phone or tablet means you can learn at your own pace. The Ling app has plenty of quizzes and games to keep you interested and is available now at App Store or Google Play.

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