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#1 Best List Of Tagalog Jokes You Need To Learn

March 21, 2022

Ready for a hilarious conversation with the Filipinos? Impress them with your skills in their native language by using any of these Tagalog jokes in this blog post. After all, Filipinos are fun people to be with, and they will surely love it if you try to spice things up with simple jokes. Let's get started!

 

Q & A Tagalog Jokes

Tagalog Jokes

Filipinos are known for being positive and pranksters. This kind of characteristic helps every Filipino who faces various problems or crises to have a positive perspective in their everyday life. For instance, most creative, funny Filipino jokes use logic, punchlines, and pranks based on their own experiences to divert sadness to happiness.

Basically, Filipino humor is also a symbol of resilience and hope for every Filipino who experiences uncertainties in life. One common type of joke existing today is the Q&A. The following are the various compilation of Q&A Tagalog jokes:

Q & A Tagalog Jokes English Translation
Q: Bakit maswerte ang kalendaryo?
A: Dahil marami siyang date.
Q: Why is the calendar lucky?
A: Because he has a lot of dates.
Q: Bakit malungkot ang kalendaryo?
A: Kasi bilang na ang araw niya.
Q: Why is the calendar sad?
A: Because his days are numbered.
Q: Anong puno ang hindi pwedeng akyatin?
A: Eh di yung nakatumba!
Q: What tree can't be climbed?
A: The one who fell!
Q: Ano ang similarity ang UTOT at TULA?
A: Pareho silang nagmula sa POET.
Q: What is the similarity between UTOT (fart) and TULA (poem)?
A: They both come from POET (ass).
Q: Ano ang pwede mong gawin sa GABI na hindi mo pwedeng gawin sa UMAGA?
A: Eh di MAGPUYAT.
Q: What can you do in the NIGHT that you can't do in the MORNING?
A: WATCH (awake).
Q: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng Biology at Sociology?
A: Pag ang sanggol kamukha ng tatay, Biology yun. Pag kamukha naman ng kapitbahay ninyo ang sanggol, sociology yun.
Q: What is the difference between Biology and Sociology?
A: When the baby looks like the father, it's Biology. If your baby looks like your neighbor, that's Sociology.
Q: May tatlong lalake ang tumalon sa tubig, ilan ang nabasa ang buhok?
A: Eh di wala. Kalbo silang lahat eh.
Q: There were three men who jumped into the water. How many got their hair wet?
A: None. They are all bald.
Q: Ano ang maraming sakay, jeepney o ambulansya?
A: Syempre ang ambulansya! Kasi, ang jeepney ay 10-10 lang ang bawat side samantalang sa ambulansya, madalas na 50-50 ang sakay.
Q: What vehicle has multiple riders, jeepneys or ambulances?
A: Of course, the ambulance! After all, the jeepney has only 10-10 passengers on each side, while there are often 50-50 passengers in the ambulance.
Q: Bakit gising magdamag ang mga bampira?
A: Kasi nag-aaral sila para sa kanilang blood test!
Q: Why are vampires awake all night?
A: Because they are studying for their blood test!
Q: Ano ang makukuha mo sa baboy na magaling mag karate?
A: Eh di PORK CHOP!
Q: What do you get from a pig that is good at karate?
A: PORKCHOP!
Q: Ano ang binibigay ng doctor sa ibon na may sakit?
A: Eh di TWEETMENT!
Q: What does the doctor give to the sick bird?
A: TWEETMENT!
Q: Ano ang mas nakakadiri sa uod na nakita mo sa iyong prutas?
A: Eh di yung kalahating uod nalang! pwe! pwe!pwe!
Q: What’s more disgusting to the worm you’ve seen on your fruit?
A: It's the half worm! pwe! pwe! pwe!
Q: Ano ang tawag ng batang langgam sa sister ng mother niya?
A: Eh di ANTY!
Q: What does the young ant call his mother's sister?
A: ANTY!
Q: Anong bagay ang nagsisimula sa T at nagtatapos sa T at may T rin sa loob?
A: Eh di TEAPOT!
Q: What thing starts with a T and ends with a T and also has a T inside?
A: TEAPOT!
Q: Ano ang pinakatamad na letter sa English alphabet?
A: Letter E, kasi laging nasa BED eh!
Q: What is the laziest letter in the English alphabet?
A: Letter E, because it's always on the BED!
Q: Ano ang mangyayari kapag nahulog mo ang isang pulang sumbrero sa asul na dagat?
A: Eh di mababasa yung sumbrero!
Q: What happens when you drop a red hat into the blue sea?
A: The hat will get wet!
Q: Paano mo hahatiin sa dalawa ang dagat?
A: Gagamit ng SEASAW!
Q: How do you divide the sea in two?
A: Use SEASAW!
Q: Saan nagpapagupit ang mga tupa?
A: Eh di baa-baa shop!
Q: Where are the sheep sheared?
A: Baa-baa (barber) shop!
Q: Ano ang pinakamataas na building sa buong mundo?
A: Eh di yung library, kasi maraming STORIES doon!
Q: What is the tallest building in the world?
A: The library, because there are many STORIES there!
Q: Anong room ang walang ding-ding at pinto?
A: Eh di MUSHROOM!
Q: What room has no wall and door?
A: MUSHROOM!
Q: Ano ang gamot sa mga sugat ng balat ng baboy?
A: Eh di OINKMENT!
Q: What is the medicine for pig skin wounds?
A: OINKMENT!
Q: Bakit madaling timbangin ang mga isda?
A: Kasi may sarili silang SCALES!
Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own SCALES!
Q: Ano ang paboritong palaman sa tinapay ng astronaut?
A: Eh di LAUNCHEON meat!
Q: What’s the astronaut’s favorite bread filling?
A: LAUNCHEON meat!
Q: Ano ang tawag sa kotse ni Jollibee?
A: Eh di BEE-M-W!
Q: What is Jollibee’s car called?
A: BEE-M-W!
Q: Ano ang karaniwang sakit ng mga martial arts champion?
A: Eh di KUNG FLU!
Q: What is the common ailment of martial arts champions?
A: KUNG FLU!
Q: Saan nagdedeposito ang mga bampira?
A: Eh di BLOOD BANK!
Q: Where do vampires deposit?
A: BLOOD BANK!
Q: Ano ang kinakain ng mga pusa tuwing umaga?
A: Eh di MICE KRISPIES!
Q: What do cats eat every morning?
A: MICE KRISPIES!
Q: Saan iniiwan ng mga aso ang kotse nila?
A: Eh di BARKING LOT!
Q: Where do dogs leave their car?
A: In the BARKING LOT!
Q: Anong gulay ang marunong maglaro ng billiards?
A: Eh di CUE-CUMBER!
Q: What vegetable knows how to play billiards?
A: CUE-CUMBER!
Q: Anong TV show ang pinapanood ng mga bibi?
A: Eh di DUCKUMENTARIES!
Q: What TV show do ducks watch?
A: DUCKUMENTARIES!
Q: Ano ang favorite sport ni Dracula?
A: Eh di BAT-MINTON!
Q: What is Dracula's favorite sport?
A: BAT-MINTON!
Q: Anong ring ang pa-kwadrado?
A: Eh di BOXING RING!
Q: What ring has a square shape?
A: BOXING RING!
Q: Anong key ang nakakabukas ng saging?
A: Eh di MONKEY!
Q: What kind of key can open a banana?
A: MONKEY!
Q: Ano ang paboritong palaman ng MMDA?
A: Eh di TRAFFIC JAM!
Q: What is MMDA’s favorite bread filling?
A: TRAFFIC JAM!
Q: Bakit kailangang lagyan ng gulong ang rocking chair ni lola?
A: Para makapag-rock and roll siya!
Q: Why does grandma’s rocking chair have to be wheeled?
A: So he can rock and roll!
Q: Ano ang sabi ng isda nang hiwain siya sa gitna?
A: Eh di I’m tuna (two na).
Q: What did the fish say when he was sliced ​​in the middle?
A: I’m tuna (two).
Q: Ano ang sabi ng bangus nang mamamatay na siya?
A: Eh di I’m daing! (dying)
Q: Ano ang sabi ng bangus nang mamamatay na siya?
A: I’m daing (dying)!
Q: Anong isda ang hindi nababasa?
A: Eh di tuyo (dried)!
Q: What fish is unwet?
A: Eh di tuyo (tuyo)!
Q: Anong isda ang pinaka matanda?
A: Eh di Century Tuna!
Q: What is the oldest fish?
A: Century Tuna!
Q: San nagtatrabaho ang mga isda?
A: Eh di ofFISH! (office)
Q: Where do fish work?
A: In the ofFISH! (office)
Q: Anong isda ang nakakasulat?
A: Eh di laFISH! (lapis)
Q: What fish is able to write?
A: laFISH! (lapis)
Q: Anong subject ang paborito ng mga fish?
A: Eh di FISHical Education! (Physical Education)
Q: Anong subject ang paborito ng mga fish?
A: FISHical Education! (Physical Education)
Q: Ano ang tawag sa doctor ng mga fish?
A: Eh di FISHician! (Physician)
Q: What do you call a fish doctor?
A: FISHician! (Physician)
Q: Anong isda ang bumabaril?
A: Eh di BANGus!
Q: What fish does the shooting?
A: BANGus!
Q: Anong isda ang mahilig mangbola?
A: Eh di Fishball!
Q: What fish love to flirt?
A: Fishball!
Q: Anong fish ang di makapal?
A: Eh di ManiFISH!
Q: What fish is not thick?
A: ManiFISH (thin)!
Q: Anong isda ang nakalutang sa tubig?
A: Eh di patay na isda!
Q: What fish are floating in the water?
A: A dead fish!
Q: Saang subject, palaging bumabagsak ang mga isda?
A: Eh di FISHsics! (Physics)
Q: On which subject do fish always fail?
A: FISHsics! (Physics)
Q: Anong fish ang may lahing insekto?
A: Eh di i-FISH! (Ipis)
Q: What fish has an insect breed?
A: Eh di i-FISH (cockroach)!
Q: Anong buwan ang fiesta ng mga fish?
A: Eh di May 1, kasi FISH-tang Dagat.
Q: What month is the fish fiesta?
A: On May 1, because FISH-tang Dagat.
Q: Sinong fish ang pumapalit pag wala ang Boss?
A: Eh di Ang o-FISH-er in charge!
Q: Which fish buys without the Boss?
A: The o-FISH-er in charge!
Q: Saang bansa ang paboritong pasyalan ng mga fish?
A: Eh di FIN-land!
Q: In which country is the favorite vacation spot for fish?
A: FIN-land!
Q: Bakit pumupunta ang mga fish sa pari?
A: Eh di Para magkum-FISH-al!
Q: Why do fish go to the priest?
A: For confession (magkum-FISH-al)!
Q: Anong tawag sa fish na peke?
A: Eh di Arti-FISH-al!
Q: What do you call fake fish?
A: Arti-FISH-al (artificial)!

Learn The Tagalog Language With Ling App

If you are eager to learn more new Tagalog vocabularies, other blog posts that you can read and study are the following such as Tagalog sports, Tagalog ingredients, and common Tagalog vocabularies. These blogs are available in one of the best language learning applications that can help you explore and master the Tagalog Language. Want to know what that app is? Read below!

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