Wondering what the customary rules are in the Filipino dating culture? Like in many Asian countries, young people’s relationship is considered a family affair wherein the man must introduce himself face to face by going to the woman’s house to meet the whole family.
While western influence on the dating culture is prevalent today, it is believed that if the Filipino man has the courage to ask the girl’s parents for the blessing to date their daughter, then their relationship will be “legal.” If you are planning to ask a Filipina out, you must make sure to leave a good impression, or else, you won’t stand a chance to call her your nobya (Tagalog for girlfriend).
In Western culture, the concept of dating is quite liberal to the point that you can live together without any worries. In the case of Asian cultures, living under one roof without having the wedding sacrament is deemed inappropriate.
While there are still some who willingly consider the live-in concept, most Filipinos will look down on that and will probably end up gossiping about you and your lover. On top of that, traditional family members will most probably persuade you not to do this too.
Another notable difference between courtship in Western countries is that the couple can be together for a very long time without having the pressure of getting married.
However, in the Philippines, there are family members who will put pressure on you as it is deemed important for them that a Filipino woman must be married before she reaches 30 years old. If not, she will be branded as “matandang dalaga / binata” or an old maiden/man.
For Chinese-Filipino men and women, the concept of arranged marriage or Kai Shao is also possible. This is done in order to preserve the line and to ensure that the guy and girl will have a suitable match.
More often than not, the two families will have to meet first so that the son and daughter can meet and agree whether they will give each other a chance or not. This type of arranged marriage is definitely not something that you can find easily in Western culture.
Traditional Filipino Dating Culture
When it comes to traditional Filipino culture relating to dating, you might be surprised by how much Filipino girls love receiving handwritten letters and the harana. The concept of harana is simple: sweep her off of her feet through your song.
Traditionally, serenading is a type of courtship in the Philippines wherein the Filipino men or the manliligaw (accompanied by their friends) will introduce themselves and say what they want to say to the women through songs. It usually happens at night where a woman might show interest if she opens her window. If the window stays closed, that means that the woman does not accept his love.#
In Muslim provinces and rural areas in the Philippines, there are also arranged marriages where a common friend will introduce the woman to a man. There will be no pressure between the couple, but if they end up falling for each other, they will automatically have the blessings of the two families to get married.
There was also some sort of dowry back in the day, and the men will have to give extravagant gifts to get the woman’s hand.
In terms of affection, Filipinos love talking during their dates, and it is usually held at the home of the lady or at the parks. For the first date, everything will be very conservative, and the males are not allowed to hold or even touch the hands of most women.
Due to religious customs, the Filipino lady is also not allowed to touch, hug, and kiss the man he is dating. The only time they can do this is once they are officially married.
In terms of the role in the relationship, women are supposed to stay at home to look after the family and do the household chores.
Modern Filipino Dating Culture
Given the status of technology today, most Filipino women and men are engrossed in online dating. By simply using these applications, you can meet Filipinos or even start dating foreigners if they want to.
In addition, most families today are also allowing their children to be married to foreigners so long as the man will respect the customs existing in the Philippines.
In terms of showing affection, the couple must be conservative, but it is also usual for them to give a quick peck on the cheek or walk while holding hands of each other.
It is not looked down on today as it was back in the day. In terms of the role in the relationship, women are no longer supposed to stay at home, and they are now allowed to work if they want to.
5 Unique Ideas About The Filipino Dating Culture
Interested in going on a date soon? Now that you know the basic differences between the modern and traditional culture for dating in the Philippines let’s now move on to the 5 unique facts you must know today.
- It is not normal for Filipino women to make the first move and ask a man out. If you expect a lady to confess to a guy first, then that will not happen when it comes to the Philippines. A lot of the locals are raised to believe that the man should be the one first to show interest.
- After the first date, the woman must wait whether the man will contact her again and ask for a follow-up date. If the man does not contact the girl, it is an indirect confirmation that he does not have an interest in being in a relationship. Filipinos do not like confrontation, so this is their way of ghosting someone.
- Family is important when it comes to relationships which is why you must be on the good side of the family and relatives of your partner. If the woman’s father does not like you, you will definitely not be allowed to go on a date.
- Like many Asian women, most Filipinos love gentlemen who will open doors, cook for them, or prepare their seats. This is especially important during the dating stage as it reflects politeness to the lady and her family.
- While this is a taboo subject, virginity is considered to be important for most women in the Philippines. Most of the ladies are raised to believe that they should never give this up until marriage is official.
Learn More About The Philippines And Its Language!
As we reach this part of the post, we hope that you were able to learn more about courtship and the traditional dating practices of Filipinos. As with many other Asian countries, Filipino women and men are very conservative, which means that public displays of affection and proposals might not work well with many of the locals.
Of course, modern Filipinos (and those from the younger generation) can ride with today’s trend of grand or even extravagant gestures and such, but going with the traditional route will surely be a great way to earn some brownie points for his or her family.
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