One thing about Albanians is that they’re never short on jokes. Regardless of the situation, they’re never shy on playful jabs and witty remarks that spare no one, whether they are friends, complete strangers, or even themselves.
If you’re learning Albanian, you shouldn’t hesitate to add a dash of humor to your conversation either, because jokes are deeply woven into the language, tradition, and culture. In this article, you’ll find some of the most popular Albanian jokes, so you can get an idea of what makes them so special. Let’s dive in – prepare to learn and laugh!
Table Of Contents
Popular Albanian Jokes
1. The Lost Time
Në shkollë, mësuesja pyet nxënësin; “Unë studioj, ti studion, ai/ajo studion. Çfarë kohe është, Beni?
– ’Është kohë e humbur mësuese”
In a school, the teacher asks her pupil, “I study, you study, he/she studies. What tense is this, Ben?
– “It’s a lost time, teacher”
This joke plays with the double meaning of the word “kohë,” which means both “verb tense” and “time,” hence the witty answer of studying being a wasted time.
2. A Man Only Speaks Once
Njëherë, i pari i fshatit pyet një djalë të ri? “Sa vjec je, more djalë?”
– “Jam 20 vjec, jam burrë, jo djalë.”
20 vjet më vonë, i pari i fshatit e pyet përsëri “Sa vjec vajte?”
–“20 vjec”
– “Si kështu? Edhe para 20 vitesh ishe 20, edhe tani 20?”
– “Burri njëherë flet”
Once, the village elder asks a young man, “How old are you, boy?”
– “I’m 20 years old; I’m a man, not a boy.” he answers.
Twenty years later, the village elder asks him again, “How old are you now?”
–“20 years old.”
– “How can that be? You were 20 years old 20 years ago, and you’re still 20 now?”
– “A man speaks only once.”
According to traditional Albanian values, a man should always stay true to his word, no matter what. Men are expected not to speak much in general so that their words can be more impactful when they do. A man should always live and abide by his word.
3. Running For Prime Minister
– Alo, me Kryeministrinë po flas ?
– Po , me cfarë mund t’ju ndihmoj ?
– Doja të kandidoja për kryeministër, cilat janë kushtet ?
–Je i cmendur !?
– Po kushte të tjera nuk ka ???
– Hello, am I speaking with the Prime Minister’s office?
– Yes, how can I help you?
– I wanted to apply for the position of Prime Minister. What are the requirements?
– Are you crazy?!
– Oh, there are no other requirements?
Note: As you can see here, when answering the phone, the correct Albanian greeting would be “Alo,” which is a derivation of the word “Allô” in French. Loanwords have become more common with the rise of technology and social media.
4. Naming The Children
Dy burra shqiptarë, njëri nga Tirana dhe tjetri nga Prishtina, po bisedonin.
– “Si vendose për emrat e fëmijëve? “ – e pyet Tiranasi.
– “Varet se ku lind fëmija”
– “Cdo të thuash?”
– “Nëqoftëse lind brenda vendit e quaj Atdhe, nëqoftëse lind jashtë e quaj Mërgim”
– “Por nëqoftese lind në avion?”
– “Fluturim”
Two Albanian men, one from Tirana and the other from Prishtina, were talking.
– “How do you decide on names for your children?” asks the man from Tirana.
– “It depends on where the child is born.”
– “What do you mean?”
– “If the child is born within the country, I name them Atdhe; (Homeland). If they’re born abroad, I name them Mërgim (Exile).”
– “But what if they’re born on a plane?”
– “I’d call them Fluturim (Flight)”
This joke pokes fun at the names’ meanings: the first two are actually quite common. Albanians of Kosovo in particular are notorious for naming children according to geographical places. Albanian names like Vlora, Saranda, and Berati are cities in Albania, but they also double as names for people.
5. The Lion Is Safe
Dy të rinj nga Vlora vendosin të vizitojnë kopshtin zoologjik. Por kur arrijnë tek dera, e gjejnë të mbyllur.
– “Nuk mund t’ju lejojmë hyrjen, sepse luani ka dalë nga kafazi” – u thotë roja.
– “Hape ore vëlla derën, se të premtojmë që nuk do ta hamë luanin”
Two young men from the city of Vlora decide to visit the zoo. But when they reach the gate, they find it closed.
– “We can’t let you in because the lion has escaped from its cage,” says the guard.
– “Open the door, brother, we promise we won’t eat the lion!”
The locals of Vlora have a reputation for being very brave, but also short on patience. This joke plays on these traits because they can very easily lead to absurd situations from time to time.
6. The Lights Bill Costs Money
Një pensionist gjirokastrit në momentet e tij të fundit të jetës.
– “Dua t’iu shikoj të gjithëve përpara se të vdes. Ku e kam djalin, ku e kam vajzën e vogël, ku e kam nipin, ma thërrisni edhe motrën. A jeni të gjithë këtu ?
– Po – përgjigjen njëzëri njerëzit e tij.
– Po kur jeni të gjithë këtu, pse e lini kot dritën ndezur në dhomën matanë atëherë ??
An old man from Gjirokastra, in his final moments of life, says:
– “I want to see all of you before I die. Where is my son, where is my little daughter, where is my grandson? Call my sister, too. Are you all here?”
– “Yes, we are here,” his family answers in unison.
– “Then why are you leaving the light on in the room for no reason?”
People from the city of Gjirokastra have a reputation for being extremely frugal and cheap. This is only one of the many running jokes in Albania that play on their habit of never wasting a penny.
7. Naming The Currency
Mbreti Zog kishte vendosur që emri i monedhës kombëtare të ishte “Mat”, në nder të vendlindjes së tij. Por kur ia tha këshilltarit të ekonomisë, ai rrudhi ballin dhe u përgjigj i vendosur;
– “E pamundur, Lartmadhni”
– “Pse jo? – pyeti mbreti
– “Sepse kur të shkojnë në pazarin e gjësë së gjallë, do të thonë njerëzit; Dy matjanë, për një gomar”
King Zog of Albania had decided that the name of the national currency would be “Mat,” in honor of his birthplace. But when he told his economic advisor, the advisor frowned and responded firmly:
– “Impossible, Your Majesty.”
– “Why not?” asked the king.
– “Because when people go to the livestock market, they will say: ‘Two Mat people for one donkey.'”
Being compared with a donkey is offensive to Albanians. It means that you are low in value and intelligence. Matjanë are all the people that come from the region of Mat. If the name of the currency had been “Mat,” then the plural would have been matjanë, hence the joke.
8. The Ice Cream Is Cold
Para disa vitesh nje shkodran shkon te takoj djalin, që jetonte jashtë vendit. Nusja e djalit, bashkë me nipat e marrin në një ëmbëltore me emër, për të provuar akulloren.
Mirëpo, aty kishte shumë klientë dhe iu desh te priste gati një orë, për porosinë e tij. Kur më në fund kamarieri u solli akulloren, shkodrani e provoi menjëherë.
– “A tani që u ftoh ma dhe mua, mar?” – i tha kamarierit
A few years ago, a man from Shkodër went to visit his son, who was living abroad. His son’s wife and children took him to a famous dessert shop to try some ice cream. However, the shop was packed, and he had to wait nearly an hour for his order.
When the waiter finally brought the ice cream, the man from Shkodra tried it right away and quipped,
– “Oh, now that it’s cold, you serve it to me, huh?” – he asked the waiter.
The classic Shkodran humor is well-known in Albania for its wit and playful words. The man’s remark about the ice cream being served cold is, in fact, a scolding for waiting so long, adding a clever twist on timing and temperature.
9. Too Much Sugar
Një familje në Gjakovë në mënyrë që të kursejë disa para më shumë, vendos të mos blejë më sheqer
– “Por si do ta pijmë kafen pa sheqer” – pyet nusja
– “Sa herë të pimë do të themi sheqer që të na duket më e ëmbël” – përgjigjet vjehrra.
Kur bëjnë kafen e mëngjesit, nusja thotë njëherë sheqer, por kafeja është shumë e hidhur, për të.
– “Sheqer, sheqer, sheqer” – thotë djali, para se ta pijë, por nëna ia merr nga dora.
– “Pse ma more kafen?”
– “I hodhe shumë sheqer”
A family in Gjakova, wanting to save a little more money, decides not to buy sugar anymore.
– “But how will we drink our coffee without sugar?” asks the daughter-in-law.
– “Every time we drink it, we’ll just say ‘sugar’ to make ourselves believe it is sweet,” replies the mother-in-law.
When they make their morning coffee, the daughter-in-law says “sugar” once, but the coffee still tastes very bitter to her, and she makes a face.
– “Sugar, sugar, sugar,” says the husband before drinking, but then his mother takes the cup from his hand.
– “Why did you take my coffee?” he asks.
– “You put in too much sugar!”
Similar to Gjirokastra in the south, Gjakova in Kosovo is a running joke for Albanians because of their reputation for always being frugal and cheap.
10. Job Interview
Në një njoftim pune ishte shpallur për njerëz me aftësi të kufizuara. Për intervistën vjen një burrë i gjatë, i shëndetshëm në dukje.
– “Por ju nuk dukeni si me aftësi të kufizuara, zotëri”
– “Unë kam prerë një krah, prej një aksidenti rrugor” – përgjigjet burri
– “Por ju i keni të dyja krahët” – cuditet intervistuesi “Si quheni dhe nga jeni?”
– “Unë jam Ermali, nga Elbasani”
A job advertisement was announced for people with disabilities. For the interview, a tall, seemingly healthy man arrives.
– “But you don’t look like someone with a disability, sir,” says the interviewer.
– “I lost an arm in a car accident,” replies the man.
– “But you have both of your arms,” the interviewer says, surprised. “What is your name and where are you from?”
– “I’m Ermali, from Elbasan.
Elbasan is a city in Albania that has a major problem with pollution. This has led to many jokes from the locals themselves about the situation and how it affects their health. While it might sound a bit twisted, it’s never meant as an offense, but it rather acknowledges the problem.
Albanian Vocabulary Related To Jokes
Since you’ve made it so far, why not learn some words related to Albanian jokes and humor? You might notice that some are almost the same as in English, and that’s because the language had a period of Latinisation during the Roman invasion. Having some international words is like a special treat for beginners. Enjoy!
| English | Albanian | Sound |
|---|---|---|
| Joke | Shaka | |
| Funny story | Barcaletë | |
| Humor | Humor | |
| Ridiculous | Qesharake | |
| Comedy | Komedi | |
| Teasing | Tallem | |
| Laugh | Qesh | |
| Joking around | Bëj shaka | |
| Irony | Ironi | |
| Sarcasm | Sarkazëm |
How Do You Say “Joke” In Albanian?
In Albanian, “joke” is shaka or barcaletë.
Frequently Asked Questions Related To Albanian Jokes
1. What Do Albanian People Do For Fun?
Albanian people do several activities for fun. Albanian people have hobbies such as fishing, swimming, dancing, and many more. They also enjoy sports, socializing, and entertainment. But, of course, it all depends on the person!
2. What Is A Funny Fact About Albania?
Contrary to what many of us are used to, in Albania, nodding your head means “no,” and shaking your head means “yes.” Keep that in mind if you’re traveling to Albania!
3. What Is A Fun Fact About The Albanian Language?
Albanian forms a unique branch of the Indo-European language tree. It’s the only surviving language of ancient Illyrian and Thracian, which was spoken in the Western Balkan region thousands of years ago.
To Wrap It Up
Reading this post, you might have noticed that Albanian jokes are sometimes very straightforward. That’s because people tend to be very friendly and know how to take a joke. Humor also serves as a coping mechanism for the challenges of everyday life and societal struggles. Albanian people don’t mind poking fun at themselves or their origin either, but when they do, it always addresses a problem and is not meant to ridicule or humiliate.
That being said, laughter is a universal language, so if you are a funny person, don’t hold back, even if your Albanian is not that good yet!
